Denial
by Jinkxy123
Summary: just a story about NJ during the snowflake ball and afterwards
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

He felt empty, she hadn't responded to his letter, but he wanted her to. Maybe she wasn't into him, maybe she kissed him out of pity. So he asked Vanessa to the Snowflake ball annually held on Christmas eve. He didn't want to, but he did, perhaps because he needed company (preferably female). Since Vanessa didn't say no, he booked a limo. Okay to be honest, he had booked it right before the guerrilla fashion show to go with Jenny, but he always forgot to cancel, it came in handy now... He didn't get Jenny, he got Vanessa, better or worse?

' So uhm...' Nate hesitated

'So uhm; what?' Vanessa implied

'Well, I know you should say this when the night is over but, ... I had fun'

Vanessa knew he wasn't talking about their limo ride, he meant those times they spent together, yes spenT.

'Well, me too'

Nate's face changed into a little smile. Vanessa leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. Nate's body jolted back at the feeling of her touch.

'Vanessa...I...'

Nate saw a strain of blonde hair flickering in symphony with the street lights in the corner of his left eye.

'Jenny?!' Nate wondered while he loosened his grip on Vanessa. 'Jenny, wait!' Nate continued, leaving Vanessa all alone on the cold street of New York's Upper East Side. Jenny, in the meantime, had left his sight. He saw Blair's posse standing there with their (non-existend dates ?! :-P ) martini glasses, laughing loudly, LOL he believed it was called. He wouldn't know, he wasn't into the cyber-lingo.

'Have you guys seen Jenny?'

'Probably hiding in dumpsters!' Hazel said laughing with the embarrassment that Jenny had experienced.

'You know that's funny, you should know, since you were born there...' a familiar voice mouthed. She continued on speaking; 'I believe it's time to look for dates, ladies!' Hazel, Penelope, Is and others left the scene, clearly offended, but too dumb to understand what they just had been offended WITH.

'Blair, you didn't ha...'

'It's fine, I never really liked them anyways' Blair smiled

'Have you seen Jenny?'

'No, I haven't'

_Spotted N and B finally getting their friendship back on the right tracks. We hear it might be for the likes of one Jenny Humphrey. Yes, it is the season for charity work, B_Jenny wasn't hiding in the dumpsters, but Hazel was pretty darn close. The toilet was Jenny's chosen fort where she had built a wall around her heart once after Chuck had seduced her into things with his develish charm. Little did she know Nate Archibald was strong enough to break that wall down. Jenny stood there with her hands supporting her weight on the sink, she let some water drip into her closed handpalms and she sprinkeled it over her pale skin.

'Ah, Humphrey hiding in the bathroom, classic story...' Blair grinned as she walked in and blockated the door.

'What are _you_ doing here? Jenny snapped at Blair

'Hiding' Blair admitted

'What for?' Jenny couldn't help but wonder

'Chuck'

'You?'

'Nate'

An ever-lasting silence followed.

'You know Jenny, despite of what I said in the past, you do have a shot with Nate'

Jenny bursted out in tears. She hugged Blair, in search of some comfort. Blair's face formed into a look like she hadn't had a tetanus shot and she could fall dead any second. Jenny sobbed and apologized for doing those things to Blair last year. Jenny seemed to have the feeling that Blair was finally embracing Jenny's hug and in response Blair said she was sorry as well. 'I too wanna be _your _friend, Jenny' Blair said when they let go.

'Look at my make-up! I look like a raccoon!?'

'Yeah, you kinda do' Blair smirked. Jenny let out a little laugh as she gathered her stuff and de-blocked the door.

'Thank you, for everything' Jenny said while she walked out into the crowd who were dancing. The door closed behind her. Blair stood in disbelief, struggling wether she should be thankful too or be hating her some more.

'You to' she eventually whispered into the lonely bathroom. She looked in the mirror, stepped towards the door and went onto the dancefloor as Jenny had shown her before.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jenny was surrounded by a sea of people, although she felt all alone… Lady Gaga's Just Dance was playing out of the sound boxes. Jenny wasn't in the mood to 'just dance' at all. Actually she just wanted to go home and crawl under a warm blanket, eat some vanilla/caramel ice cream and watch her favourite movie. But she wasn't allowing herself to do so, she wanted to show those preppy constance billard chicks that she got some game.

'Jenny' Vanessa interrupted Jenny's thoughts 'I just wanted to talk to you'

'About what? To claim that our friendship is more important than some guy, right? Is Nate an exception to that rule then?' Jenny snapped at Vanessa. Vanessa looked like she'd been hit by J's fist. But she responded with the same sound of 'arrogance' toward Jenny.

'Classic case of the pot calling the kettle black'

'When we kissed you weren't even together, hell were you ever even together?' 'I mean, what we did wasn't wrong; you betrayed him and he was mad, and I was there'

'Right, like you're such a good friend to him right?'

'I've known Nate for over a year, and if there's one thing I know is that he won't help anyone unless he cares'

'That doesn't exactly answer the question, now does it?'

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In the meantime Blair was so angry at Chuck for letting his charm run loose on the new girl who dressed in vintage Valentino (so wrong…) and ran towards the cloakroom and said her code; VA, which she found weird, since the codes were usually initials, but she guessed they had changed their methods.

'There you go, Miss Abrams' the friendly redhead said

'Abrams? My name isn…' then it slipped B's mind; 'Thank you' she carefully said; like hell she was gonna be the nice girl and the purse, she needed some dirt on that girl and she was gonna get it.

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'It doesn't matter Vanessa. I was ready to give up on Nate, after you told me our friendship was more important. I was ready to do that, for us, and now I find out you were just saying that to move in on Nate, I guess you're not worthy of my friendship then?!'

Before Vanessa could reply she noticed the sudden stillness that had fallen on the dance floor. Everyone was looking at their cell phones. Looking at both Jenny and Vanessa.

_This just in; Jenny being betrayed by supposed-BFF Brooklynite Vanessa Abrams. Moving in on Natie, V? Bad move, especially after just admitting to little J (oops, not so little anymore) that being friends is more importante than the youngest Archibald, or any UES'er really… Hiding a letter? That's low even for you, V! I hope J chooses Bros over Hoes this time… until then,_

_You know you love me,_

_Xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

The music had set still, and there he was; Nate Archibald moving his way through the crowded room. Calling her name; 'Jenny, there you are…' then he noticed that no one was dancing and that the music was no longer beating out. He switched his eyes to the nearest cell phone and saw GG message. His eyes turned red, redder every second, he moved his sight from the girls LG phone to Vanessa, then to Jenny, then back to Vanessa. He shook his head in disapproval, then he just ran passed Vanessa and Jenny.

'Nate?' Vanessa said, turning her head to follow Nate in his movements

'Just stay away from me…' Nate said right before he moved away to take his final steps towards the exit doors

'We're through, we are through' Jenny yelled loudly at Vanessa

_Spotted__ V in denial of her mistakes, you should've known no good was coming out of it. Bad move V! Hope you catch fire and burn to death._

_You know you love me,_

_Xoxo_

_Gossip Girl_

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Blair knew she had dropped a bomb on NYC, Vanessa was now known as the 'bitch' and she liked it. Blair was partially to blame for that, well V did the other half by stealing the letter; but yes, she did uncover a secret for GG, and there was no stopping her now, she was on a roll, and with that thought in her mind she proudly walked the boardwalk, ready to go home…

'Blair' she heard a male, hoarse voice demand from behind her back. 'Blair, wait up' as she heard this she turned around standing face to face with Nate, who had easily catched up on her, even though he was surely more than 20 feet away from her.

'What?' Blair asked

'I know you sent the letter'

'What makes you think that?'

'You're highly developed skills of manipulation for one and maybe because you're the only one who knew there even was a letter'

'I guess that's fair'

'Where is it?'

'What is?'

'The letter'

'Oh, you want it?'

'I'd appreciate it yes'

'I'll give it to you…' 'on one condition, you'll answer this question for me'

'what is the question?'

'Do you love her?'

'You read the letter'

'Do you love her?'

Nate paused for a second, then he popped out his answer, without a doubt; 'Yes, I do'

'Good'

'The letter?'

'Oh, I don't have it, I gave it to Jenny'

'Then why did you make me answer?'

'I needed to know, if you loved her'

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Jenny stood in the same spot as where V left her still in the midst of light, sound and looks. She didn't hear anyone moving in on her from behind. She felt a tight grip on her arm, it became stronger, that grip turned her around and made her lock vision with her knight in shining Armani (as GG named him) his eyes caught the spotlights perfectly, almost too perfect for it to be real.

'Nate…' Jenny was abruptly stopped by a soft, slight but passionate kiss on her pink-ish lips.

'Mistletoe'

Then he walked off into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Nate had a feeling something bad was gonna happen, no one would like the idea of him and Jenny together; and he knew a lot of people who would sabotage them. One of them being Dan, Jenny's older brother, the one who's warned him before about Jenny. He liked Dan, but how could he be so selfish.

'Nate'

Nate turned around and stood face to face with his frenemy Dan, speak of the devil.

'Dan, hey!'

'I need to talk to you'

'Oh, okay, what about?'

'I saw you kiss Jenny' Dan's face tightened into a strong jaw line as he said these words that seemed to relieve Nate but stress Dan

'Look Dan, like I said, I didn't mean t…'

'Just stay away from her, she doesn't need this right now, she just doesn't, so stay away'

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Wandering in the city was not something you wanted to do unless you really needed to get your mind off of something… And that's exactly what Jenny needed, clearing her mind. It'd been a week since Nate kissed her (again) and she still felt so, so, so angry. Yes, she felt angry. Usually when someone kisses you, you should be happy, excited, grateful or for the least be content, but Jenny was none of that. She hated how Nate kissed her and then left her alone and cold. She tried to forget him but she couldn't. Blair gave her a letter; apparently it was worth reading. She found out it was the one who Vanessa stole. She hadn't read it yet. She was afraid it would be bad, really bad.

Jenny was still walking, walking and walking, 'til she ended up in central park. It was winter so Wollman Rink was out and tons of kids were skating with their, mostly bad at skating, parents. She walked passed the tourists who were following the trashy guide. And she sat herself down on the bench on her right; not knowing this was the same bench where Nate sat down after every single of his morning runs.

'Jenny?' a male, deep voice asked quietly

'Oh hi Nate' Jenny responded trying to be surprised although she wasn't really; it was a small island after all…

'What are you doing here?'

'Trying to relax, you?'

'I always take a run here in the morning'

'I didn't know'

'Well, there's a lot of people who don't'

'I should've' Jenny whispered to herself

'What?'

'Nothing…'

'No, you said something'

'No, I didn't

'Yes, you did, you said you should have'

'What?'

'You said 'I should have', why did you say that?'

'I said… I said it because… I'm your friend and I should know this stuff about you'

'Jenny…' Nate said with a certain hint of what he was gonna say next

'Nate…'

His lips crashed onto hers, his touch pulling her in closer. Jenny dropped all the problems she was struggling with and went for it, she liked Nate. And just as she leans in to kiss him more deeply, he pulls away.

'Jenny, I'm sorry'

'What for?'

'For doing this' Jenny's face turned from happy to sad in just a few seconds 'I can't be with you'

'But you wrote that letter'

'I meant what I said, but I can't do this, I can't put you through this, not this, not with Vanessa… Not with Dan or your dad, I don't want to do it, but I have to, I have to stay away from you, like I said in the letter'

'But it doesn't have to be this way'

'I'm sorry…'

And with those words he left once again… Why did he always do that, why does he always leave?

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Jenny ran home with tears dwelling down her face, she ran until she entered the Humphrey loft and got into her room. She searched for the letter Blair had handed her over the night before. And she started reading. She cried even more when she read it, she took a piece of paper and started writing,

Dear Nate,

Our conversation today made me think. I don't want this, us, to end. If you don't like me I shall appreciate your decision, but I don't want Vanessa, Dan or anyone else come in between of this. Not this way. I want you Nate, I need you, you're my support, you believed me when nobody else did. If not you've been the best friend I thought I had in Vanessa. I love you, with all my heart…

Jenny-

She put the letter in her bag. And ran back out. But before she did, she gave Dan Nate's letter and ordered him to read and then make his decision about Nate.

She walked out and into the New York flashing streets. She had a mission; to show Nate how she felt. He needed to know that no one mattered, not if they both wanted to be together. It was night, not one shop was opened; it was new year's eve after all. Shoot! Nate won't be home, he's at this gala at the Palace. Jenny changed her route and was on her way to the palace. Where she was interfered with a security guy who kept asking for her name like he couldn't see the urgency of the matter written all over her face.

'She's my guest' a female yelled from behind the man's back 'Check your list, it says Blair Waldorf, that's me and she's my guest'

'Oh alright then'

Blair showed Jenny her hand as to say; come on dear… Jenny followed Blair into the lobby of the Palace where business men were discussing the financial crisis that would eventually affect their sales market.

'Thanks for doing that'

'Don't worry, I see you're carrying luggage'

'Huh? Oh right, just a letter'

'Perhaps a letter to Nate?'

'I underestimated you'

'I get that quite a lot'

'I'm sure you do'

'He's over there'

'Could you just deliver it for me?'

'Sweetie, I got you in, I can't do all the work. Besides I have to go find Chuck it's almost midnight and we're getting it on, if you know what I mean?'

'Blair I can't just go and…' But before Jenny could finish her sentence Blair had already left her standing. She stood there for a few more minutes and then it was time. 10, 9, 8, 7… She stepped towards the middle of the dance floor as some random girl pulled her in to join the joy. She saw Nate taking notice of her…6, 5, 4… He stepped towards her and they both grabbed for the other and full on…, 3, 2, 1… kissed and just as they did everyone stated; Happy New Year. They opened their eyes and locked them together, their hands intertwining. He held her more tightly and kissed her head. 'I'm so sorry, Jen' 'I'm so sorry' Jenny cried her heart out and Nate could tell, not by hearing her but because he could feel his chest getting wet. 'I'm so sorry' He kept repeating. 'I am too' Jenny finally said. 'Here's a letter I wrote to you, but I don't think you'll need it now' Jenny said quietly still sobbing. She kissed him once more and she could taste her salty tears while their lips touched.

'I love you, Jenny' 'I do, I really, really do'

'But what you said earlier'

'It doesn't matter, it made me think, and it all doesn't matter, it's just us, you and me'

They kissed and Nate picked her up and turned her around. Yes like in the fairytales…

To be continued…


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The door slightly opened, but loud enough for the walls to be thrilling. Her moaning sometimes took place for his deep and lingering breaths. Where he thought he could never feel, he felt. Where she thought she'd never be, she was. He picked her up. Sat her on the table, which was in the middle of the room.

'Jenny, I…I…I'm sorry'

'For what?'

'For not coming to see you'

She kissed him again

'No, I'm serious Jen'

'I know, but why?' she said while pressing her lips on his once more

'I feel like this, us, needs somewhat of an explanation'

'What?'

'I mean, we should talk about what happened'

'What happened?'

'Exactly, we didn't talk about our mistakes, we just kissed and somehow made our way to in here'

'Well, I can't say the ride wasn't pleasant'

A little smile took place instead of his serious expression

'You can make me swoon any day, Nate Archibald, do you know that?'

Nate suddenly felt confident by hearing those powerful words.

'Don't worry, we'll talk about it' she assured him 'Just not right now'

She grabbed him by his back. Her fingers went under his shirt, taking it off of his body. His hands made their way to her back as well; loosening the dress she was wearing earlier. She always looked beautiful, but tonight she certainly caught his eye. Her dress was now laying on the floor lifeless while her heels were already unstrapped and spread over the hard-wooden floor inside the Archibald residence. She pushed him to the wall. Where he turned her around so her backside was now facing the wall. The bang was so hard the painting hanging next to them shuddered.

'Ouch'

'Did I hurt you?' he said immediately stopping any kind of movement he was making

'I liked it' she giggled

He couldn't help but smile; aahh the things she could do to him. He kissed her collarbone, swiftly moving up unto her cheeks and so to her longing mouth. By the time they made it to his bed, his pants was already off and her hair was running wild. She pushed him onto the bed and let herself drop on top of him. His arms stretched around her tiny waist.

She couldn't believe that just happened. That, of all things. And with him, of all people. She had dreamed about it, after _it _happened. How he was so perfect, and so gentle. Almost seeming to know when to be calmer. He knew her so well. God, she loved him, _and_ his imperfections.

Jenny woke up slightly

'Hey' his voice softly whispered, raising the tone a bit

'Hi' she responded, just as quiet as him

'Did you sleep well?'

'Hhmmm' Jenny hummed as she stretched out

'Seems like it' he mouthed, soft as always, kissing her forehead

She giggled at the tickling touch his lips made to her head

'I love you Jenny Humphrey' a pause entered, as he saw her face change 'I really, really do' he declared

'I love it when you giggle like that, or how you're the only one who can make _me_ giggle, I love how you can be the bigger person, how you can let bad comment go passed you, how you can make other people's life better, how you're so determined' a tear starter to fall onto the linens as the sunlight catched both their skin so perfectly in the white room. 'How your toes curl up when you're excited about something, how your eyes blink when the cold catches up to you, how you feel warm even if it's freezing' he took her tears away with a single move 'I love _you_, everything about you, every single thing'

A bomb had dropped on Jenny's head. She seemed to realize what he just said because she picked up her hands and put them on each side of his head. She kissed his lips so strong, it almost made him break.

'I love you too'

To be continued…


End file.
